yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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