i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You need a sexual gate keeper
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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