Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
