I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize