i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Couch. On fire.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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