It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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