She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
