whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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