I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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