so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
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