My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
