For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
