I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize