found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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