we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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