your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.