I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night