wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.