I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.