They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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