im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Redeem this text for a blowjob
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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