Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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