I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We talked him into tasing himself.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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