How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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