when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
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Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
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Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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