had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
