Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
