quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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