Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
