My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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