He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
