Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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