Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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