she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
