Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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