We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
organizing the empties. That sober.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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