i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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