What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
