Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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