Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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