Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize