I want to have your abortion
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize