Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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