Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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