evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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