I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
