Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?

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(419): View more from Ohio

He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.

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(904): View more from Florida

Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.

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(925): View more from California

I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.

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(420): View more from

So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner

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(619): View more from California

Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.

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(815): View more from Illinois

When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!

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