I wish my penis had an off switch
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
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Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
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Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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