I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
