she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
