If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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