Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize