So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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