I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize