i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
