Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
