Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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