I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
