So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize