Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
