maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
